are you afraid of death?

yea I know real nice header.
It is strange as you get older you tend to think of death, or maybe it is just me. I realize I am not afraid to die,though I do not want it to happen anytime soon the idea of it happening does not scare me. I would like to at least see my kids grow up and maybe even a few grand kids but if it doesn't happen because of unforeseen circumstances I am alright with that. Strange of me to think that way, huh. Maybe it is because I am not ambitious and have basically done nothing with my life. I had kids young, married young. I did those things because I had no goals to do anything else in life. I wonder what would have happened if I had actually had dreams of what I wanted to do when I grew up and if I had any clue how to reach for those dreams. I still don't, to this day, know how to reach/finish any goals. I can't even do the simplest ones. I have small goals and never see end of those. I don't know if it is because I don't want too or if it is because i just don't know how to too.
My life is just day to day with nothing to do but sit here and wonder.
I get in these moods where I live in my own little world and lately I am having a hard time getting out of there. I am totally neglecting my family and friends. It is as though I have been so far away for so long that I don't know how to get back in their lives or if they even want me there when I am like this.
Now one might ask what is so bad that i can't get back into things, well honestly NOTHING. There is nothing so bad in my life that I should be like this. Sure I have family issues, who doesn't. Sure I am in total debt for the rest of my life, so is over half the country. I have a family that loves me(tho wonder bout the kids sometimes) and even though we struggle financially we still have each other, a roof over heads and food on the table(mostly).
So what is my problem? Your guess is as good as mine. I have often written about being bored but I am not bored right now. I had remedied that before by going out with some friends and having fun. Though right now I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to be physically be around people. So I guess that is another question. Why I hiding myself from the world?